She drew the photo out of the film developing envelope and slid it across the table.
“This,” she said, a shimmer of tears in her eyes, “is Kamden. He was 11 years old.”
Stephanie Ketchell’s story doesn’t begin with the freckled redhead with a shy smile, but that is where the trajectory of her life changed.
Though she’s lived in Bellefontaine for a decade, Stephanie grew up in Mechanicsburg. At the age of 3, she suffered her first loss when her 10-year-old sister succumbed to the flu.
Too young to understand what it meant at that age, it wasn’t until Stephanie entered her early teens that she fell into depression and needed counseling. Those difficulties would prepare her for what was to come.
Stephanie tried college, but it wasn’t a good fit. She quit after the first year and joined the workforce. She eventually accepted a job in the group homes at Adriel School in West Liberty, and, she admitted, “I loved my work there.”
During that time, Stephanie was involved with Urbana Church of the Nazarene. And that’s when she met her husband, Jamie.
Jamie had two young children. On the day Stephanie married him in 2007, she instantly became mom to Kamden and his older sister.
Kamden enjoyed sports and making people laugh and telling them about Jesus. He had “the sweetest smile” and loved the Lord, yet the young boy faced mental health issues and would tell his parents he hated his life.
But though Kamden struggled socially and personally, he was in treatment and surrounded by support.
Then, one day in April 2012, Stephanie and Jamie went to Kamden’s room and discovered he’d died by suicide.
“You never expect to bury your own children,” Stephanie said, her voice breaking. “Though I wasn’t his birth mom, I loved him like my own son.”
In her grief, Stephanie cherished the support of her community. Even strangers rallied around their family, offering hope and encouragement. And the Ketchells realized they wanted to do something. They needed to serve other people in their situation.
She soon connected with Molly Smith, who worked with the Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors, or LOSS, and was chairperson of the Suicide Prevention Coalition (SPC) of Logan and Champaign Counties.
“Molly had a very inspirational role in my healing,” Stephanie said, “but she also got us involved, so we could help others.”
In 2014, Stephanie began what she called “a new life.” Recently single, she moved to Bellefontaine and, though still at Adriel, she took on a new job with what is now TCN Behavioral Health as a mental health case manager and prevention specialist.
She had already joined the LOSS team, which provides crisis response for those who’ve lost someone to suicide, and she became events coordinator for the SPC. Stephanie goes from place to place and school to school, hoping to reduce the stigma of suicide and let people know they’re not alone.
“I love doing this program because I get to talk to students, not just in a classroom but one-on-one,” Stephanie said, the truth of the statement obvious on her face. “I’ll never know the impact that’s had, but I have an opportunity to let someone hear their life has a purpose.
“We often don’t know the why, which is what makes the loss complicated. Since my teen years I’ve had moments where I thought, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ Life is hard. But God has been so faithful to me. He’s given me people who have lifted me up, strengthened and encouraged me.”
September has been a busy month for Stephanie and SPC as it’s National Suicide Prevention Month. Part of that is a remembrance event that takes place every September at the Ohio Caverns. Stephanie has been involved in it for 12 years and coordinated it for the last nine.
This year, it was held on Sept. 14. It included a one-mile walk/run, a 5K, a kids fun run and a color run, followed by the closing ceremony.
“A lot of emotions are attached to this,” Stephanie concluded. “We were adopted into a family we never wanted to be a part of, but it brings us together … and we have become family now.”
Through it all Stephanie has learned a powerful but simple message: “It’s OK to not be OK. There’s hope. There’s help. There’s healing.”
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, the National Suicide Prevention lifeline is available 24/7. Just call or text 988.
A local survivors of suicide support group meets on the second Thursday of every month at TCN Behavioral Health, entrance F, 1521 N. Detroit Street, West Liberty, from 6:30 to 8 p.m.
For more information about the support group or to get involved with the SPC, contact Ceci Yelton at the MHDAS board by visiting mhdas.org or calling (937) 465-1045.